The key to mastery in relationships is to understand that relationships are taking place not only in our physical self.
Most of what is happening is going on in a spiritual way, involving very subtle stimuli. This includes emotions, feelings, expectations, memories, beliefs, thoughts, virtues and vies, tendencies, conditioning and more. Unless we begin to study and understand these non-physical but very real spiritual energies, how are we going to understand the unseen roots of what is occurring in our life?
A thought is like a container of energy of a particular shape (the shape of the thought). In order for it to manifest into the physical world, it has to be filled with energy. The energy that fills thoughts is the energy of emotion. Relationships are areas in which emotions abound. What is the quality of the thought and emotion that you hold in your primary relationships?
When we hold onto disappointments, when we expect the worst, when we cannot relax and our stress permeates our family time then we are on a downward slope. Things could even reach an unpleasant breaking point, either in terms of relationship failure or health concerns.
The spiritual traditions around the world seek to give us guidance about how to enjoy good relationships. Universal values like honesty, kindness, caring, forgiveness, reliability and unity are encouraged just about everywhere. Being able to ‘flip’ our negative energy, fears and frustrations in the moment is a skill which we can learn, and which is invaluable at turning even the most difficult relationships around.
In the moment, think: what would love do now? And pray to the Divine in the way that means the most to you. Pray for the inner strength to be virtuous. In the end, you will have a better life when you can do that.
I have found that it has been important over the years to keep coming back to watching my thoughts about relationships. When we dissolve our negative thoughts and replacing them with more positive ones, we feel lighter and clearer. We are also turning the potential future of the relationship around. It becomes easier with practice. The inner strength required to do this helps to cultivate beauty and strength in the soul as well. You can read more about how to do this in my Child of God book. The effect can be miraculous.
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti,